Hi, I'm Ian Rand McKenzie.

This website is a hub for everything I do.

The most likely reason you’re here is that you searched my name or clicked a link from one of my socials. Here’s a quick snapshot of everything I’m up to at varying degrees of effort:

  • Digital Hygiene Consultant — Time is money, and if you make a lot of money, my seemingly exorbitant fees will earn your time (money) back in as little as a month. Give me a call to learn more.
  • Objektiv Digital — We make websites for successful local businesses. Originally a digital agency, it is now my freelance service with light subcontracting. I only accept one project per month. Learn more here.
  • Enderbook — A social app for Minecrafters, an ongoing project to support and enhance the Minecraft community. Available on web browsers, iOS, and Android. In-game integration coming soon.
  • Various Art Projects — Including Curious Markings and small-batch projects available for sale on OpenSea.
  • Blogging / Videos — Mostly about how I manage schizophrenia. Published on news sites like MSN and Yahoo.
  • Poetry — A bit of fun with honesty and rhyme.

Skin

Picking, scratching, endless thinking
Scrolling, tapping, endless sinking
Climbing, clawing, relentless longing
Comparing, staring, pointless glaring

Scrambunctious craggledrops
Sinking down their popscops
Drinking up their

Read More »

iPhone Alarm Rap

ey
I’m coming up with all these stupid silly rhymes
ey
Yeah, I’m doing it pretty much all the damn time
ey
But all

Read More »

Sexual Architecture

I feel so at odds
With your concrete reinforcing rods
I feel just like
A load-bearing dyke

My feelings aren’t what they seem
Once

Read More »

AGHKGH! [email protected]&# OFF POPUP!

Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?

Why do you do this to me, Ian...

Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!

Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.

'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?

Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!


...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.

Ian's Creations

Poetry

From innocent witticisms to performative wokeness to outright vulgarity.

Schizophrenia Blog

Tips and tricks for managing mental illness, plus stories of living with schizophrenia.

The Meme Hotline

Serving dad jokes over automated voice and meme text messages via SMS completely toll-free!

Enderbook

The social app for Minecrafters. Share creations, follow friends, set up trades, & live chat.

Art & NFTs

Much like the poetry, another vehicle for humor, social commentary, & occasional beauty.

Personal Blog & Project Updates

Like everyone else on social media, I've been deluded into thinking my opinions matter.

Objektiv Digital

Making websites for successful local businesses. The most effective one-man-agency you'll likely ever find.

Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!