Ian McKenzie's Blog

A healthy mix of sober and psychotic ramblings.

Playing with Food

What do I want to eat?
Some vegetables or some meat?

If I were a nudist, what would I want for food?
Whatever it may be, I would surely eat it in the nude.

And if I were a conscientious vampire thirsting for blood,
I would drain a hog that I wrestled in the mud.

But, alas, I am not a nudist vampire wrestling a pig.
Perhaps I'll just have some cheese and nuts with a fig.

Little Red Dots

Little red dots
Show up on my sight
Little red dots
For my attention, they fight

Little red dots
Never give me peace
Little red dots
Take my time, piece by piece

Little red dots
Stir up excitement
Little red dots
Boil up my lament

Little red dots
Have so much to say
Little red dots
Ruin my day

The Dreamer’s Fate

Nothing is as it seems
In the waking dreamer's dreams

One moment, they're walking the street
The next, they're traversing giants' feet

Trying not to get crushed
One moment stopping, the next rushed

Back in reality, drawing near
That which he should truly fear

A careless driver, a speeding car
An intoxicated body, fresh from the bar...

...headed straight toward the dreamer's path
You can do the math

And your math would be wrong
For this is a different song

Of a dreamer in a forest
Of a drinker walking home to rest
Of a driver that stays off the road
And a plane with a car in its load

This Poor Fella

Let me tell you of a fella
Who cast a wide umbrella

Of things he like to eat
It was such an admirable feat

He had such a great attitude
About all kinds of food

A squid, a dragonfruit, a pine nut
Anything would go in this man's gut!

A bean, an ostrich egg, a bamboo shoot
One day, this man even ate a newt!
Which turned out to be the undoing for this poor fella
For he soon died of salmonella

Man in the City

In the days of my prime
I committed a social crime

For every day I would plot
To one day rule Camelot

Giving up fortune and fame
To play a silly game

Little did anyone know
This King Arthur would grow...

...from a boy everyone would pity
To an admired man in the city...

...who dares to have the audacious thought
of turning that city into Camelot.


Oh, how lucky you will be
To see the death of me

To finally be on your own
To carry on what I've known

To add to the library more floors
To make the library yours

To open its doors to many more
To make space for more books to store

Oh, how lucky we will be
To share in your library


One day I will decide
To take a ride

To the highest peaks
Where everyone seeks

Peaceful solitude
For mental fortitude

Then descend to the steeple
To reach out to the people

To tell them the lie
That I learned from the sky

That the dead are in crowds
Floating in the clouds


If I could have bolstered talent
I would be more patient

To take time with my thoughts
To find all of my blind spots

To listen to experts
Even when it hurts

To know when we are all wrong
To know when to sing humanity's song


I'm a big, burly brute
From me stompers, to me clompers
I'm also bloody cute
All the ladies, big, burly rompers

When the sun shines
I'm smashing skulls
At night, there's wines
The size of ship's hulls

I'm a big, hairy beast
Sniffing out your puny flesh
Soon you'll be my feast
With the hogs and cows and fish

You are what you…

The thought is so sweet
To think you are what you eat
But, to this you must heed:
You are also what you read

If you read love and not fear
Your lovers you'll hold more dear

Which isn't to say you shouldn't know
Opposing thoughts are for you to grow

So read hate with empathy
And ignorance with telepathy

Nourish your hungry brain
With facts and love to stay sane
Skip to content