Categories

Shitposting

Low Effort by Ian Rand McKenzie

Raw, Uncut Lyrical Garbage #7 ‘KiwiSlider Rap’

In my Minecraft gameplay in 2020, I began writing poems about various players on the server I was playing on. One poem inspired me to try rapping it. That is what the above is.

Then, something magical happened. Two different musicians decided to add a beat to the riff, even though my BPM matching was wildly unstable, they managed to make it work. Here are their works:

Icy

SAINT PALE

Character Capsules #2

“Hoowee! You smell like a possum died in uncle Chester’s septic tank! Where you been?!”

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #5

Thoughts are a hell of a drug. I once got so high on thoughts I bought a chest freezer and filled it with cigarettes and chocolate.

Want more of this delectable excrement?

Sign up to my newsletter where I only spam you if I genuinely think you’ll like it (because any other reason to email you would be f%$#ing cringe)!

AGHKGH! [email protected]&# OFF POPUP!

Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?

Why do you do this to me, Ian...

Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!

Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.

'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?

Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!


...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.

Ian's Creations

Enderbook

The social app for Minecrafters. Share creations, follow friends, set up trades, & live chat.

Art & NFTs

Much like the poetry, another vehicle for humor, social commentary, & occasional beauty.

Homicide App

Arbitrary gatekeeping systems like laws, morals, and forceful intervention make murder more difficult than ever. With Homicide.app, murder from the convenience of home!

The Meme Hotline

Serving dad jokes over automated voice and meme text messages via SMS completely toll-free!

Objektiv Digital

Making websites for successful local businesses. The most effective one-man-agency you'll likely ever find.

Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!