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Low Effort by Ian Rand McKenzie

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #15

If currency/asset acquisition are in your top 10 key performance indicators for life or business, you will not survive the future.

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #12

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I clearly have a deficiency in cognitive functioning and this is a cry for help.

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #11

Debt is like drowning. If you’re 30 ft. below the surface, it’s easy to fight your way up and survive. When you’re 3000 ft. below the surface, it easily makes more sense to simply embrace death and keep sinking.

Out of Context Jokes #3 ‘Short Email’

I’m keeping this email short because it seems by the time I get to replying to personal emails after a full day of work, my brain has already melted and is now leaking onto the floor, running against gravity into the bedroom where it presumably hopes the rest of my body will follow.

Vincent Van



Thanks, I’ll be here all day. 🤝

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #8

At some point, I started seeing literally everyone as children that are in adult bodies. We are all acting like what we think ‘acting like an adult’ is. After that, the world suddenly made a lot more sense. Including myself, of course – Even this ‘meta observation’ of mine is a futile attempt in deluding myself that I’m above it all. This is my form of ‘acting like an adult.’

Raw, Uncut Lyrical Garbage #7 ‘KiwiSlider Rap’

In my Minecraft gameplay in 2020, I began writing poems about various players on the server I was playing on. One poem inspired me to try rapping it. That is what the above is.

Then, something magical happened. Two different musicians decided to add a beat to the riff, even though my BPM matching was wildly unstable, they managed to make it work. Here are their works:



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Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?

Why do you do this to me, Ian...

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'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?

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Ian's Creations


The social app for Minecrafters. Share creations, follow friends, set up trades, & live chat.

Art & NFTs

Much like the poetry, another vehicle for humor, social commentary, & occasional beauty.

Homicide App

Arbitrary gatekeeping systems like laws, morals, and forceful intervention make murder more difficult than ever. With, murder from the convenience of home!

The Meme Hotline

Serving dad jokes over automated voice and meme text messages via SMS completely toll-free!

Objektiv Digital

Making websites for successful local businesses. The most effective one-man-agency you'll likely ever find.

Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!