Categories

Shitposting

Low Effort by Ian Rand McKenzie

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #12

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I clearly have a deficiency in cognitive functioning and this is a cry for help.

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #11

Debt is like drowning. If you’re 30 ft. below the surface, it’s easy to fight your way up and survive. When you’re 3000 ft. below the surface, it easily makes more sense to simply embrace death and keep sinking.

Out of Context Jokes #3 ‘Short Email’

I’m keeping this email short because it seems by the time I get to replying to personal emails after a full day of work, my brain has already melted and is now leaking onto the floor, running against gravity into the bedroom where it presumably hopes the rest of my body will follow.

Vincent Van

Gogh

Goatee

Thanks, I’ll be here all day. 🤝

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #8

At some point, I started seeing literally everyone as children that are in adult bodies. We are all acting like what we think ‘acting like an adult’ is. After that, the world suddenly made a lot more sense. Including myself, of course – Even this ‘meta observation’ of mine is a futile attempt in deluding myself that I’m above it all. This is my form of ‘acting like an adult.’

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AGHKGH! [email protected]&# OFF POPUP!

Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?

Why do you do this to me, Ian...

Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!

Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.

'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?

Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!


...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.

Ian's Creations

Enderbook

The social app for Minecrafters. Share creations, follow friends, set up trades, & live chat.

Art & NFTs

Much like the poetry, another vehicle for humor, social commentary, & occasional beauty.

Homicide App

Arbitrary gatekeeping systems like laws, morals, and forceful intervention make murder more difficult than ever. With Homicide.app, murder from the convenience of home!

The Meme Hotline

Serving dad jokes over automated voice and meme text messages via SMS completely toll-free!

Objektiv Digital

Making websites for successful local businesses. The most effective one-man-agency you'll likely ever find.

Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!