Search
Close this search box.
Categories

Shitposting

Low Effort by Ian Rand McKenzie

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #46

The only person luckier than a lottery winner is a lottery winner that says, “no thanks” when presented with the cheque.

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #44

Authoritarians use a bad economy to convince you to give them their power. Meanwhile, the act of survival is the most noble profession. Yet, bad economies cannot take that away from you. That’s reserved for authoritarians.

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #43

Decentralization is freedom. Centralization is authority. One will always over-correct and it is up to us to fight for the underdog — whichever it may be.

A Joke Too [Grammatical] To Be Funny #15

At a no-name university, a student inquired to his English professor about his poor essay grade. The professor always felt threatened by the student’s raw talent. “Reading the paper, completely nonsensical,” the professor dismissively responded. “Please zip it up, sir, your modifier is dangling,” the student replied.

Riddle #1

I’m standing in a field of something. I see less today, but the warmer it gets, the less I’ll see tomorrow. What kind of field am I standing in? [Answer] This kind of only works in spoken word without completely giving it away.

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #42

Value is subjective. A golden Bugatti is useless during a famine, diamonds are overpriced through monopolized scarcity, and time spent enrolled at Harvard is better spent networking than learning.

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #41

Moral & ethical tech is the only path forward for success. The whispers will soon become an ear-shattering roar. —Me, hopefully being correct.

A Joke Too [Butchered] To Be Funny #13

What did the pig say to the slaughterhouse manager before changing careers? “If you can’t handle me at my bratwurst, you don’t deserve me at my black forest!”

Want more of this delectable excrement?

Sign up to my newsletter where I only spam you if I genuinely think you’ll like it (because any other reason to email you would be f%$#ing cringe)!

AGHKGH! F@&# OFF POPUP!

Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?

Why do you do this to me, Ian...

Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!

Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.

'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?

Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!


...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.

Ian's Creations

Enderbook

The social app for Minecrafters. Share creations, follow friends, set up trades, & live chat.

Art & NFTs

Much like the poetry, another vehicle for humor, social commentary, & occasional beauty.

Homicide App

Arbitrary gatekeeping systems like laws, morals, and forceful intervention make murder more difficult than ever. With Homicide.app, murder from the convenience of home!

The Meme Hotline

Serving dad jokes over automated voice and meme text messages via SMS completely toll-free!

Objektiv Digital

Making websites for successful local businesses. The most effective one-man-agency you'll likely ever find.

Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!