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Shitposting

Low Effort by Ian Rand McKenzie

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #37

I find the most delusional people are non-schizophrenics because they’re never given any impetus to genuinely examine the unimaginably disturbing thoughts inside themselves.

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #36

A practical guide to real-world sorcery:

When you are your true self at your best, you become so powerful that even the laws of physics will bend and break under your might.

School of Magic: Loyalty with points focused in the self-care and personal values skill trees.

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #35

We are all children. The most ‘adult’ people of all of us are the ones that consistently recognize the child within themselves and everyone else.

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #34

People think that prolonged isolation can make a person difficult to be around in social settings.

When alone for long enough, lies no longer serve a purpose.

Unlike us, the isolated person has gotten too comfortable with truth, disrupting the perceived civility of our lies.

Quotes As If I’m Relevant #33

Trying to control others is like farting in the wind to change its course. It may work for a bit if you fart REAL hard, but it just makes a bigger asshole.

A Joke Too [Knockoff-TikTok] to Be Funny #9

I was laying on the floor
Stretching my core
I had something in store
‘Cause I knew she wanted more
She walked through the door
And I counted to four

One
Two
Three
Four

Then I put her in a trance
With my wiggle worm dance

Boom chicka boom chee
Boom chicka boom chee

Put her in a trance with my wiggle worm dance

Boom chicka boom chee
Boom chicka boom chee

Her: I’m breaking up with you. Your bags are at the door.

A Joke Too [Thespian] To Be Funny #8

I was in a high school production once. Before I went on stage, the stage manager said, “break a leg!”

I replied, “Oh, my friend, I won’t break a leg. I will break my spine and become a heartbreaking story of a talented young actor tragically cut short of an extremely promising career in theatrical production!”

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AGHKGH! [email protected]&# OFF POPUP!

Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?

Why do you do this to me, Ian...

Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!

Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.

'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?

Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!


...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.

Ian's Creations

Enderbook

The social app for Minecrafters. Share creations, follow friends, set up trades, & live chat.

Art & NFTs

Much like the poetry, another vehicle for humor, social commentary, & occasional beauty.

Homicide App

Arbitrary gatekeeping systems like laws, morals, and forceful intervention make murder more difficult than ever. With Homicide.app, murder from the convenience of home!

The Meme Hotline

Serving dad jokes over automated voice and meme text messages via SMS completely toll-free!

Objektiv Digital

Making websites for successful local businesses. The most effective one-man-agency you'll likely ever find.

Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!