Quotes As If I’m Relevant #51
Computers & the internet converged to save time for everyone. Social media cancelled out those savings.
January 26, 2023
Computers & the internet converged to save time for everyone. Social media cancelled out those savings.
Don’t bother sweating the inevitable unless you enjoy the perspiration.
What do you call glowing lights in the December sky that are not stars? Christmas flights
What do you call a Yuletide biblical parable of confectionary betrayal? Candy cane and maple
Why is Santa Claus jealous of the Christmas tree? He couldn’t hold a candle to it
If we’re all pursuing “financial freedom” does that mean we are enslaved by financiers?
If you are a perfectionist, pursue the imperfect.If you are a confectionist, pursue the savory.If you are a ventroliquist, pursue the unstrung.If you are a lyricist, pursue the—
What do you call Israeli prison convicts hugging each other after a daring escape? Fresh Squeezed Orange Jews
The only person luckier than a lottery winner is a lottery winner that says, “no thanks” when presented with the cheque.
No matter how far you travel, the crossroads travel with you.
What does a racist, white supremacist, and pharmacist all have in common?
Authoritarians use a bad economy to convince you to give them their power. Meanwhile, the act of survival is the most noble profession. Yet, bad economies cannot take that away from you. That’s reserved for authoritarians.
What do you call a psychotic man spraying spit as he rambles incoherently on the street? A spritzophrenic
What do you call it when Jesus Christ throws a temper tantrum? Making a nativity scene
What do you call a cookie that doesn’t like talking to you? Shortbread
What do you call a red headed baker? Gingerbread man
What do you call a cougar encounter when chopping down a Christmas tree? A Christmas stalking
What do you call a winter Ukrainian strike on a Russian convoy traveling through the forest? Christmas tree armaments
What do you call the most powerful vacuum component in the world? President Franklin D. Roomba-belt
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...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.
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