Ian McKenzie's Blog

The Catch-All Feed for Content Created by Ian McKenzie

Looking for the schizophrenia posts that were originally at this link? Click ‘Schizophrenia‘ above in the sub-navigation!

Character Capsules #3

It never ceases to amaze me: we all love other people more than ourselves, but care more about our opinions than theirs. —Leftist Millennial

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Pristine Snow

My cynical thoughts are cyclical
My whimsical ideas heal physical
My clinical self-care arrive in a trickle
My tangible thoughts to words, fickle

So what do I do

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Proper Parody

I continue to be fascinated by brands whose business model relies entirely on their… brand— branding!

In this casual rabbit hole, I was

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Subscribe for A Ton More Mishmashing of Awesome Stuff.

If you are like me and love nerding out about self-care, artistic expression, technology, and trying your best to balance your rampant cynicism with an equal measure of rampant silliness, I think you’ll vibe with what I do here.

I will only send updates that I am completely convinced will be valuable to you. I respect your time by respecting my time. I don’t send frivolous bullshit.

Wow, Ian, your posts are mostly shit.

LOL. Yup. They are. If you don't want to scroll through endless.. shitposts, well...

You can scroll to the top and click on a category that's more appealing to you. Most of my other content is in the Poetry and Schizophrenia categories

Ugh... I don't want to have to scroll ALL the way up. My fingers hurt from scrolling your shit already!

Wow, thanks Ian. You're my hero!

I know you're not actually saying that, and this is just a silly piece of the website that is shoving those words in your mouth, but you're welcome.

Speaking of shoving things into other things, why not let me shove emails into your inbox by signing up to my newsletter where I send updates about my non-shitty content?

AGHKGH! [email protected]&# OFF POPUP!

Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?

Why do you do this to me, Ian...

Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!

Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.

'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?

Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!

...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.

Ian's Creations


The social app for Minecrafters. Share creations, follow friends, set up trades, & live chat.

Art & NFTs

Much like the poetry, another vehicle for humor, social commentary, & occasional beauty.

Homicide App

Arbitrary gatekeeping systems like laws, morals, and forceful intervention make murder more difficult than ever. With, murder from the convenience of home!

The Meme Hotline

Serving dad jokes over automated voice and meme text messages via SMS completely toll-free!

Objektiv Digital

Making websites for successful local businesses. The most effective one-man-agency you'll likely ever find.

Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!