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Month: April 2023

Ms. Harrington

Blessings to this home
Long may she roam
And all the paths to be shown

Blessings to the pixie queen
Long may she reign
And for all the songs

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Man in business suit standing in front of bugatti with an overlay of a quill representing poetry with IRM logo in bottom right

Spot’y Bugatti

Barkin’ with my Rottie
Got Spot’y in my Bugatti
and I’m feelin’ kinda naughty


‘Cause the diamonds in — my hands
Are from blood in — the sands

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cold waters

shrouded by healing waters
corpses wailing in falters

a fountain of youth for thee
others lost fighting the sea

its cold touch soothes furious soul
those pacified, instead swallowed

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Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?

Why do you do this to me, Ian...

Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!

Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.

'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?

Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!

...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.

Ian's Creations


The social app for Minecrafters. Share creations, follow friends, set up trades, & live chat.

Art & NFTs

Much like the poetry, another vehicle for humor, social commentary, & occasional beauty.

Homicide App

Arbitrary gatekeeping systems like laws, morals, and forceful intervention make murder more difficult than ever. With, murder from the convenience of home!

The Meme Hotline

Serving dad jokes over automated voice and meme text messages via SMS completely toll-free!

Objektiv Digital

Making websites for successful local businesses. The most effective one-man-agency you'll likely ever find.

Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!