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Mind boggling! How this whiny little snot used clickbait to grift your time

You know what really grinds my gears?
When you equate my delusions to your fears

“I sometimes get that,” they say
When I get it ten times a day

But it doesn’t stop, no, not there
Because there’s 90 other ways my day is your worst nightmare

She complains when I’m being distant
But I’m not far away, I’m not existent

When you’re getting your house and kids and doctorate
I’ve just figured out how to be physically literate

And when your sprouts turn to hopeful teenagers
I’m lucky to have sorted out all my angers

All these woke people proclaim in public they’re here when it gets tough
So I say hello in DMs, but man their schedule is rough

But hey that’s cool
You got your public virtue

And the people who talk
Repeat their peers
Giving me advice that I’ve practiced for over 10 years

Be frugal
Be mindful
Eat all the right food

Be honest
Be active
Try kundalini in the nude

But if god is psychosis 
Than I am your priest
So why am I starving
While all of you feast?

I am gifted with A Beautiful Mind
Conquered my illness, but cannot find
The comfort they said was possibility
Under a system that says I am free

But systems are a machine
Precise and clean
One size fits all
But ignores the separate, the original

I have the gift
But refuse to grift
So for answers I wait
While I try to innovate

Some kind of size that will fit
On an Earth built on bullshit
Our world is broken, we agree
Yet keep teaching thousands years aged philosophy
So to this, I decree
From disability I am free
Because my disease is but simply
An affliction of poverty

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Do you normally dislike poetry? Me too! It turns out, I like writing it, but I cringe at the thought of the stereotypical puffy culture surrounding it. If I want to smell my own farts all day, I stuff my belly with garlic and onions, thank you very much.

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AGHKGH! F@&# OFF POPUP!

Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?

Why do you do this to me, Ian...

Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!

Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.

'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?

Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!


...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.

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