I’ve got rhythm
I’ve got class
I’ve got glamour falling out my ass
I piss out sunshine
And curse my melodies
To all my fans, I give the finest herpes
Murder murder murder
Kill kill kill
I am your systemic shill shill shill
Buy my album
Buy my shirt
Buy my bathwater where I squirt squirt squirt
My civilization, sealed, with a platonic crest
Ruled by boys affixed to lactating breast
We've cast out our halves and all our emotion
Wait, what's causing all of this commotion?
The end is nigh, they say
Surely, their minds are astray
The end is nigh, they say
Yet we live it every day
Look to any shore
Somewhere is War
Another place is a river, full of swimming salmon
Within its horizon, there is also Famine
And in that same short distance
You will find Pestilence
And with opinions in our breath
We exhale our Death
It is the apocalypse that we fear
And it did not start this year
We feared this will be our fate
{DateTime.now} is today's date
It is the apocalypse that we fear
Lo, for millennia, it was always here
Do you normally dislike poetry? Me too! It turns out, I like writing it, but I cringe at the thought of the stereotypical puffy culture surrounding it. If I want to smell my own farts all day, I stuff my belly with garlic and onions, thank you very much.
Anyway, if you want more poetry without all the stuffy pseudo-intellectual silliness attached, subscribe to my newsletter below. Unsubscribe at anytime. I respect your time by respecting mine. I don’t send frivolous bullshit.
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Welcome to my little corner of the internet. 😊 ❤️
Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?
Why do you do this to me, Ian...
Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!
Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.
'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?
Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!
...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.
Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!
