iPhone Alarm Rap

ey
I'm coming up with all these stupid silly rhymes
ey
Yeah, I'm doing it pretty much all the damn time
ey
But all these rappers rap like they're from mars
ey
(laughing) While I struggle to keep up with these simple bars
ey
All these performers accuse appropriations
ey
But I'm not an inventor with my creations
ey
And you know, science is what finds all of our truths
ey
Engineers use discovery to sell to youths
ey
We get modern comforts like electricity
ey
Or social media razing society
ey
Hold up, that is 'raze' with a z and not an s
ey
English is so damn confusing, I must confess
ey
That's probably partly why we are in this mess
ey

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AGHKGH! [email protected]&# OFF POPUP!

Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?

Why do you do this to me, Ian...

Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!

Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.

'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?

Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!


...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.

Ian's Creations

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From innocent witticisms to performative wokeness to outright vulgarity.

Schizophrenia Blog

Tips and tricks for managing mental illness, plus stories of living with schizophrenia.

The Meme Hotline

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Enderbook

The social app for Minecrafters. Share creations, follow friends, set up trades, & live chat.

Art & NFTs

Much like the poetry, another vehicle for humor, social commentary, & occasional beauty.

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Like everyone else on social media, I've been deluded into thinking my opinions matter.

Objektiv Digital

Making websites for successful local businesses. The most effective one-man-agency you'll likely ever find.

Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!