Search
Close this search box.

Month: November 2020

Highway in Hell

Some say there’s danger
On the highway to hell
My story is much stranger
As you’ll soon know well

For my highway wasn’t to fiery pits
The fiery pits

Read More »

Politics is Cringe

I’ve gotten pretty sick
Of all this politic
We all seem to fight
Over black and white

Why doesn’t anyone say
That the world is mostly gray
The real red

Read More »

Breakfast

Do you know what I like the most?
Simply jam and toast
But when it is on sale
I like fried eggs and kale

I’m also gonna be

Read More »

The Coalition

There was once a group with ambition
That called themselves a coalition
They set out to make a name
To earn fortune and fame

Residing in a place
Where

Read More »

Wolf Totem

Praise this little totem
It would have saved my life
These killers, I loathe ’em
Putting these wolves through strife

Praise this little totem
Why was it them, instead

Read More »

World Down

Imagine the world being down
Making you feel like a clown
Refreshing your sight
To see if it might…

…return to normal
To be back in view
From what was

Read More »

Goodnight Sweet

Goodnight my sweet
How I love giving heat
To your pretty cold hands
Cold as ocean sands

Goodnight my sweet
I love how you heat
My cold, empty soul
Making it

Read More »

The Crystal Forest

At the edge of the crystal forest
Lies a lonely stable
Within it, a chest
Its contents for those who are able

The forest is unnatural
So would say

Read More »

AGHKGH! F@&# OFF POPUP!

Sorry, sorry! I just thought since you've been on this site for longer than average, you might hear me out?

Why do you do this to me, Ian...

Okay, okay, I'll be quick! I have a newsletter to keep you up-to-date on my content and projects. If my stuff tickles your pickle, help us both out by subscribing!

Also, I don't do anything shady or aggressive with your email address. I'll only send you the good stuff and won't share your email with any person/provider that isn't working for me to serve you better.

'Serve me better.' What deliciously vague jargon. Is this where you pretend to be me and you make me respond with a contrived form of consent because you're bold enough to assume this cute little chat interface gimmick is enough to actually get me to sign up?

Ummm... uhhh... ahh... Sign up and get exclusive discounts and early access!!!! Come ooooon! Induced scarcity is fun!


...alright, well, I'll leave it up to you.

Ian's Creations

Enderbook

The social app for Minecrafters. Share creations, follow friends, set up trades, & live chat.

Art & NFTs

Much like the poetry, another vehicle for humor, social commentary, & occasional beauty.

Homicide App

Arbitrary gatekeeping systems like laws, morals, and forceful intervention make murder more difficult than ever. With Homicide.app, murder from the convenience of home!

The Meme Hotline

Serving dad jokes over automated voice and meme text messages via SMS completely toll-free!

Objektiv Digital

Making websites for successful local businesses. The most effective one-man-agency you'll likely ever find.

Like this nav? It does what every marketing-oriented web designer will tell you not to do: shove as many things in your face as I can!