I once met a lovely lass Though, she was rather crass She loved to slap my ass And give other men a pass She had rather bad gas But, she was a catch – a trophy bass A volumptuous lass Her boussoms with such mass She had such wit and sass But, one day did pass She was swallowed by a morass Oh, the funeral had such class! They played the sweetest blue grass She was my sweet piece of ass Now she's just biomass By now, you've wished you'd given a pass To this shit poem, written by a jackass.