Today, I am purple
Productivity, the color blue
My pumping blood, red

Today, I am helping poeple
Helping people with you
Culling my sense of dread

Today, I am broken and I am whole
Making reparations for the days that I stole


I am a killer
Afraid, you should not be
For I am a killer
Of my favorite stationery

There’s nothing more satisfying
Then killing a pen
There’s nothing more gratifying
Of all I wrote up to then

There was so much learning
And self discovery
Soon I’ll be yearning
For enough paper to kill a tree.


My morning is chaos
Can’t you see?
Sometimes I shower
Or stare at a tree

I’ll snooze my alarm
Most of the time
It’s always self-harm
Sleeping on my life’s dime

I’m trying to do better
And one day I will
For now, I’m an alarm setter
And a slave to my pill.

Hello Canada

Hello Canada
My new home
You’re so very familiar
A new place to roam

Hello Canada
As some would say, “America’s hat”
You could easily be a few more states
Did you know that?

But you’re not
And that’s great
A place of independent thought
And a will to your own fate

But never forget
That people are people
And do not let
Your people be sheep-le

You are tall […]

Little Miss Pickle Muffin

I once had a cat
Not a dog, not a puffin
I once had a cat
Her name, Little Miss Pickle Muffin

She was a goodest girl
She was a puffy floof of loves
I’ll never forget her furl
Or those veterenarean’s gloves

But enough of that
What’s done is done
I’ll still love that cat
And her presence as warm as the sun

So here’s […]

The Curse of Technology

What device shall we blame today?
For our own bad habits and sinful way?
Which technology are we to blame?
For our addiction and our shame?

How about the phone! The TV! The car!
The radio! The music! The drinking bar!
Let’s blame electricity! No, let’s blame fire!
Let’s blame anything other than our misguided desire.

Man of the Year

All hail, flatulator of the year!
A man so flatulant
He can fart you to tears!

All hail, the man with gas!
We love his smell
Though some would rather pass

All hail, the many of many farts
He’s repulsed so many
But he’s captured our hearts.

The World Eater

Behold, the ancient one, Xorbidu!
He gobbles up worlds, yes, it’s true
He eats carrots, he will eat a bunny
He eats parrots, and guys that think they’re funny

He’ll eat you, he’ll eat me
He’ll even eat the toilets where we pee!
He’ll eat mountains, he’ll eat skies
When Xorbidu comes, everyone dies.

Up Late

I like to stay up late
Why, yes, I do
Skip out on a date
That I was going to

I like to stay up late
And work all night long
No amount of work will sate
The troubled reasons for this song

I’m penniless
I’m desperate
I barely keep a roof over my head

That’s a lie
Here’s why

I’m impatient
I’m ungrateful
I always move to the […]

The Question

“What a stupid question”
The hurting man said
Little did he know
It was a brilliant question instead

There is no folly in the quest to know
With every “stupid” question, we are allowed to grow

I don’t blame the hurting man
For his words of spite
Because when we are hurting
We lose our mind’s might